Cooking vs. Cleaning

I recently have discovered that I love to cook. I really had no idea how to make anything until I got married and asked for cookbooks on our wedding registry, and then pinterest happened and that was it. I was hooked. There were so many beautiful pictures of food that I wanted to try it all. So I got organized, because that is how I am, and created a system where every time we go to the grocery store I buy ingredients for three new meals; one from pinterest and two from two different cookbooks of the six that I cycle through. I think I have made the same recipe more than once only a handful of times in the past two years because I have yet to run out of recipes to try. I come home from work, pick which of the three recipes I want to make and get to work. It's wonderful.

Now don't think I'm some fancy wife that has everything together. It is very messy and sometimes (well, most of the time) it takes wayyy longer than I planned. We have exactly two windows in our tiny apartment and the kitchen is on the opposite side of the apartment from the windows so it feels kind of like I'm cooking in a dark, tiny corner. (Which is not ideal when you have the oven and the stove on and the corner becomes very hot and cramped.) But the worst part of it all is that after I make this delicious meal I "forget" to clean it up. The dishes pile up in the sink and on the counters and on the stove and I'm one of those people that has to let things "soak" for a while before I will put it in the dishwasher. It's actually not just the kitchen, the whole apartment will often go a while without being cleaned.

I've tried to reconcile this about myself, and I really have put a lot of effort into trying new systems of cleaning. I divided up the rooms and put on the calendar which week I was cleaning this set of rooms and which week I was cleaning that set of rooms. That lasted for about a month. Then I decided I would still keep with that idea, just give myself some slack and only do it twice a month instead of every week. Now I am really trying hard with a new system where I do just 15 minutes of cleaning every day when I don't have something after work, but lately I've been struggling to keep that up too. I don't know what it is about cooking that is so easy to put effort into and cleaning that is just impossible for me. I have friends that always have spotless homes and no matter how often I come over nothing is ever out of place. I'm one of those people that as soon as I have someone coming over I rush home and spot check as many things as I can before they get there and it is still not as clean as their home.

So I have to remind myself that I cannot do everything. I am not perfect at everything. Some people are cooking people and some people are cleaning people, and neither is better than the other. They are both great. Some people garden. Some people travel and aren't home that often anyway. Some people do manage to cook and clean and garden and raise kids and are superheroes or something, but I have to remind myself that it's ok that God gave me some strengths and passions and not others. Of course I am still open to advice on a system of cleaning that might work for me, but I am learning that while it is important to work at the things that do not come naturally to us, it is maybe more important to focus on those things God made us great at. We each have our own spiritual gifts, our own desires, our own paths in life and the differences are what makes us all work well together.

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. 1 Corinthians 12: 4-6

The next time you are frustrated with yourself, maybe you can remember this too and learn to not be too hard on yourself. God made you with just the right abilities for your life. And He made me a cooking person, not a cleaning one.

The Plans He Has For Me

I was at a retreat last month that finally gave me a chunk of time to spend alone with God. I brought along my prayer journal, but it had been so long since I had spent much time with God so the journal contained prayers from 2009. When I opened it, I found a list in the back titled, "What I Want In A Future Husband." Wow, this journal is old. So how close did my husband match up with my list? Turns out he did pretty well, but some of my requirements for a husband were kind of silly. Clearly, God knew what I needed in a husband more than I did. Here's my list:

1. He is a Christian who walks with the Lord and helps me in my faith
As a Christian, this one is kind of a given. I actually remember purposefully putting this one first so that I wouldn't feel guilty about leaving it out or putting it later on in the list like it isn't important. Ian is a Christian, so he does fulfill this wish well. Whenever I am worried about something or stressing out (which seems to happen more and more often the older I get), he gently reminds me that God is in control and will work things out for the good. I think it's kind of ironic that Romans 8:28 is my favorite verse, but I need to be reminded of it's message the most.

2. He is funny and makes me laugh
Ian definitely fulfills this one! One of the first things I was attracted to in him was his sense of humor. He made even the most boring classes hilarious because of his witty remarks. I treasure every time someone tells me how hilarious Ian is. I think it is really important to laugh together with your spouse. Ian and I do laugh often and have a lot of fun together.

3. He is romantic
When Ian and I were first dating I didn't know if he would be very romantic or not, but turns out he has a lot of moments where he is very sweet. He came up with a genius way of proposing to me, and had my family and friends waiting for me after the proposal as a surprise. He knows what will make me smile. I think he is just the perfect amount of romantic for me.

4. He is adventurous
This fits, even though Ian doesn't like roller coasters or camping. We do find plenty of things to do together that are adventurous like spelunking or snorkeling!

5. He can/is willing to dance
Well, this one didn't really work out as well as I had hoped haha. Though he will dance with me in the kitchen when no one is looking and he willingly went swing dancing with me once even though he hated it. The only time he got out on the dance floor and didn't care who was watching was at our wedding, which I think is perfect.

6. He likes to travel
Yes he does, and we have lots of plans for future travel when we have the time! We also both enjoy doing similar things while traveling (like going to museums, etc.) which is a plus.

7. He is outgoing
What I was looking for in this one was someone to help me with meeting people because I am a quiet extrovert, so I needed someone that would help me with that. Well, I married an introvert, but it forces me to be more extroverted and I think his personality does compliment mine.

8. He speaks another language/is willing to learn
Didn't really get this one either, but it makes me smile when Ian randomly says something kind of in Spanish with his limited Spanish knowledge. This just means that whenever we travel to another country I will be the one translating, which I am very excited about!

9. He is cuddly with me
Definitely. Ian and I have both of the same love languages, which means I am never left guessing if he loves me or cares about me. We are perfectly happy sometimes just to sit and cuddle and talk about life, and I love it.

10. He respects my boundaries when dating
Yes, Ian was very good about that. It was so nice when we were dating not to be pressured into something I wasn't ready for.

11. He gets along with my family
He does get along with my family, and that is very important to me. My family means a lot to me and it would be so stressful if I married someone that didn't like them or that they didn't like. I am so thankful that this was not a problem.

12. He has a good reputation
Yes, he does. He also is a very hard worker and has a good reputation at work and I am very proud of him for that. I wanted this in a husband because this shows that he has a good character and I can trust him to be a good guy.

13. He likes spicy food
Umm, what? Haha this was such a random one that I added in, and Ian definitely does NOT like spicy food. I think I wanted this because then it would mean that I could cook spicy things. It still works out, because Ian likes chips and salsa, and I can just order spicy things on my own when we go out to eat. Liking spicy food really is not that important of a quality for a future husband unless you can only eat spicy food and nothing else haha.

So it turns out my husband fulfilled most of my list. Nine out of thirteen is good, especially when the other four are not really that important. The important thing here is that God brought me someone that was perfect for me, even when I didn't know exactly what that would look like. Some things I thought I needed, and it turns out they were not as necessary as I thought. Now I can look at this list and it reminds me that I can plan and think that I know what I want, but in the end God truly knows what I need better than I do. I have been blessed with a husband that is just right for me. I wouldn't change a thing.

The One And Only Time I Will Talk About Politics

Ok, let's all take a deep breath and a step back for just a minute. I think that we will be a little healthier if we do that. Now let's think about this question: Is it a good system to have in place when our leaders have to spend their time and money fighting each other and bringing half of our country down in order to be a leader? 


I have never been very interested in politics. Growing up I always thought I would rather be ignorant and allow others that seemed smarter and wiser to duke it out in the politics arena. There was so much I didn't know about how our country was run and what was important to our country that I would rather just live my day-to-day life and ignore it. But now as an adult I think I would have to live under a rock to not see what was going on in our country (and yet, some people seem to be able to pull that off). My husband and I watch the news, The Daily Show, and the Colbert Report. We have facebook accounts and twitter accounts. We read articles online. I have friends that are working in politics. So now I will step up onto my soapbox just for a moment to talk about something that I didn't care about until recently. Just stick with me for a moment, this actually does apply to all of us. 


I want to offer a different point of view first. There's this planet called earth. On a little section of the planet there are a lot of people that are really passionate about their ideas and the ideas of the rest of the people that live in this little section. They have set up their own government, and they are so proud of their section. Now if you listened to some of their conversations, you would hear things like this, "Can you believe how ridiculous all the Democrats are for doing this?" "The Republicans are stupid as usual." "I don't want to live on this planet anymore." (Wait, you don't want to live on this planet because there is someone in this little section of earth that disagrees with you? There are actually other sections on this planet. I've been to a few of them, and they are pretty cool too.)


Anyway, whether you are Republican or Democrat, I think there is something wrong with the fact that our country is divided down the middle and sometimes it seems like the purpose of each side is to show how wrong and stupid and horrible the other half of the country is. For one, we talk about not stereotyping people and segregating them, but then we say things like "all Republicans are stupid" or "all Democrats are wrong". It is a wonderful thing to be in a country that expresses different views and opinions, but it is scary that we aren't able to have a really intelligent conversation about them without labeling each other. It reminds me of the Dr. Seuss book about Sneetches that have stars on their bellies and Sneetches that don't and McMonkey McBean is able to take advantage of them financially because they care so much about being in different groups. All they needed to do was take a step back and realize that loving each other is more important than what group they are in. Can our country be in a good place when to be in politics means taking one side and tearing the other side down? Can we truly have a good country when our articles and ads are all negative toward others? The other night I saw a negative ad on tv that was complaining about the other person having negative ads. What??


Yes, sometimes when we care about someone we have to let them know what they are doing wrong that can hurt them or others. Yes, it is very important to have an opinion and believe in something. But what bothers me most is that somehow we have divided ourselves into two groups. Everyone is different; we all have different passions, different strengths and weaknesses, different ideas and opinions and hobbies. God has the biggest box of crayons ever and He used all of them in making us unique. So why are we in two groups, each trying to bring half the country down? Can we have a conversation without stating that someone is an idiot? And why are we idiots just because we stated our beliefs? I thought that was one reason that we were proud of our country in the first place, because we could tell others our beliefs. I think our conversations as a nation are too negative, focusing on how wrong the other side is, instead of actually trying to do something. 


"A house divided cannot stand" is a statement by Abraham Lincoln, quoting Jesus. In light of that, isn't it creepy how divided we are? I'm just waiting for the day when our country and political system can no longer stand, and it is probably closer than we think. We need to breathe deeply, and figure out how to have a system that loves instead of hates. 


Alright, there was my rant. I will step off of my soapbox for now. And by the way, I love you. Jesus does too, and He was not a "Republican" or a "Democrat". He spent time speaking the truth in love to everyone, regardless of their careers or opinions or sins. 

Waiting

I was reading in Romans today and came across these verses: "We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his fath. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully." Romans 12: 6,7. Now these are nice, comforting verses about how we all have unique gifts to contribute to the world, but as soon as I read this I began to tear up. I was filled with a sense of longing, of wanting. See, the reason I was reading in Romans in the first place was because I am tired of waiting on my purpose. I am tired of walking into a classroom that is not mine as a substitute teacher. I am tired of seeing pictures from other teacher's lives on their desks, of their friendships with their own team of teachers. I am tired of teaching lessons that others have planned. And most of all, I am tired of working nights and weekends at a restaurant job that wears me out and tears me down emotionally. I'm tired of waiting.

I love teaching. I enjoy substitute teaching even more than I expected. However, some days I will be teaching a lesson and be suddenly filled with a longing for this to be my own classroom, decorated with my own creative crafts. I will be sitting in the teachers lounge and wish that I could create relationships with teachers that I could work with every day instead of moving from school to school like a vagrant. I can't wait to plan my own lessons, building on lessons past and seeing the progress in my students. I can't wait to organize my own desk. I want to be a teacher so badly. Lately I have actually given up the hope of getting a full-time teaching job. So today I decided I needed to open up God's word and be renewed so I could wait patiently for His plan. That is why I almost cried when I saw those words, "if [his gift] is teaching, let him teach." Oh, if the world would only let me teach.

I know that this waiting period for me could be much worse. I have a wonderful husband that encourages me to be patient and lets me know that everything will be ok. Sometimes I don't get much sleep between serving at night and teaching in the morning, but I could be a lot more worn out than I am, and at least my jobs are flexible. At least I have jobs. I even have a job that is within my career, though it is at the bottom of the totem pole. I have a God that is in control and has a plan for me. Yes, things could be much worse.

Life has a tendency to make us think that every waiting period, every dry period we go through feels like the worst. We wonder how we can get through it and if it will ever end. Then when it is over, we look back on it and most of the time we forget how hard it was. That's how my life felt when I was single for 21 years and wondered if I would ever find love. Now I have a wonderful marriage and I can't hardly remember how it felt to be single and waiting. We all have to wait at times, that is part of life on this earth. We just can't forget that the waiting will end eventually.

Therefore, I am learning that the best thing for me to do during this period of waiting is to remember how God has worked in my life before. In the past when I was waiting He was orchestrating something for me that was even better than I expected. He had a plan for me then, and He has a plan for me now. If He has truly given me the gift to teach, then one day He will let me teach. Until then I can count my blessings, do my best in the teaching opportunities that I am given, and hold on to the hope that it will all work out according to His perfect will. He has a plan, and that plan includes waiting.

Skillet Tomato Mac n Cheese

With this whole pinterest craze happening lately, I feel the need to post a few recipes that I can't find on the internet. (Now I can pin them to my own pinterest board! Hehe) Here is one that I tried last night. It was super easy and quick, and the first thing Ian said after trying it was, "This is tasty! You can make this one again!"

I originally got the recipe from this book: Cooking Heathly With A Man In Mind. Yes I know, the book sounds silly and the people on the cover look like they are stuck in the 80s. I actually got this cookbook from a white elephant gift exchange this Christmas, but it does have some really great recipes.

Ingredients

15 oz can of tomato sauce

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 Tbsp dried onion flakes (I used minced onions)

1/2 cup sliced mushrooms, drained (I left these out, mushrooms are too slimy for me)

6 oz shredded cheddar cheese

2 tsp dried parsley flakes

1/4 tsp black pepper

3 cups hot cooked elbow macaroni, rinsed and drained

Personally, I would add some sausage in there too, because to me it seemed like that would make it even more perfect.

Recipe

In a large skillet, combine tomato sauce, mushroom soup, onion flakes, and mushrooms. Stir in cheddar cheese, parsley flakes, and black pepper. Cook on medium heat until the cheese melts, stirring often. Add the macaroni (and possibly cooked sausage?) and mix well. Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

This serves 6 (and it tastes even better for leftovers!). Bon apetit!

Generosity

The other day my husband and I went out to eat so we could catch a football game and have a light lunch. We munched on chips and salad, and since we sat for a while we gave the waiter a nice tip even though the bill wasn't very big. I've worked in the food industry since I was 16, so I try to give a good tip when we eat out because I completely understand how it is to wait tables. Most servers make about $2 an hour, and the rest comes from tips, which makes it really frustrating when a table leaves a lousy tip after taking up a lot of time and work. As my boss at Chili's explained the other day, servers are salespeople, and like all salespeople, they work on commission. I could probably rant about the importance of tipping servers for a while, but that is not actually relevant to this post. However, after knowing and understanding all of this, and after giving a tip that I would be happy to receive, I actually left the restaurant wondering if I gave too much and bothered by the fact that we have to spend a lot to eat out even when we don't order much since we have to add the tip into the equation.

My husband and I are very conservative with our spending. Our financial goals in this season of our lives is to save our money and pay off those college loans looming over our heads. They aren't really looming, but sometimes they do feel to me like a mountain that I have to climb and the other big events of my life are on the other side of the mountain. Not that it is a very steep mountain, but rather a gradual climb that I will slowly chip away at for a few years. Still, some big events in the future like buying a house, having kids, or going on big trips are postponed until we are on the other side. Loans come first.

Of course I know this is smart; we want to have good credit and save money since we are just starting off, and my husband seems to have the right mindset about everything. So why is it bothering me when we are generous to servers or charities because I haven't climbed my loan mountain yet? Something tells me that generosity should not bother me so much, but instead be something that I feel good about. I thought I wasn't being selfish or materialistic since I wasn't spending very much, but maybe I was still being selfish in my saving. Maybe there's multiple sides to selfishness and generosity.

Andy Stanley, the pastor of Northpoint Ministries, often preaches about the importance of financial responsibility. One thing that he says that I think is wise is how it is important to only live off of a percentage of your income so that you have a greater margin to be generous. He talks about the importance of tithing (or giving) a certain percent of income every month. Ian and I have been putting some money away for giving each month, but after that lunch the other day I realized that there was something missing for me still: my heart.

It is a great thing to give. Our world is broken in so many ways, and just to chip at that brokenness with generosity is important. As Christians we are called to give, it is a part of our purpose. Generosity for us is a spiritual thing, not just something you plan and count, it should affect more than just your mind. Putting money away to give every month was something I had only been planning in my mind. I was not praying about where we should put the money, or being led to give in certain ways. My brain was the only thing affected. Maybe giving every month makes us "good" people, but God wants us to be more than that. He calls us to be like Him, and He gives out of love. He asks us why we give, not just what we give.

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Matthew 6:1-4

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." I Timothy 6:6-7, 17-19

We give so that we may fulfill His command to love others. We give so that we will not put our trust in wealth, but instead in God. We give so that our hearts look more like His.

I think that when my walk with God seems to stall and my spiritual life goes through a dry spell, I should look at my willingness to give. I think my generosity tells me a lot about how I am acting as a child of God. If I am trusting God, why do I worry about giving money to a good cause? Why do I worry about being too generous? It doesn't make sense.

This year my resolution is going to be to be more generous with my money, my resources, my time, and my love. This year, I want to give not just because I was told to, or because it makes sense financially, but because my heart is in it. I want to give because God's love is flowing through me. When I give that way, I trust that God will continue to give us what we need to be even more generous.

Settled

I was driving home from work through the little town of Franklin, Tennessee, and noticed the quaint homes and shops around me. The old houses reminded me of houses near where my grandparents live, which in turn reminded me of holidays with my family. I usually drive past houses like these when it is cold and crisp outside, with snow or bright colored leaves framing them. These houses also were surrounded with red and orange leaves, and a grey, cloudy sky reminded me of winter in the Northeast. I was feeling nostalgic until I looked at the dashboard of my car and saw that the temperature outside was actually 65 degrees. Yes, it is the middle of November and despite cloudy skies, the temperature outside is warm. I thought of how strange it is that the people in these houses are used to warmer, milder winters than I am. It's normal for them. Then I realized, This is my normal now, too.

All my life I have wondered about what life would be like when I grew up. Where would I live? What would I do? Who would I marry? Everything was open wide, there were millions of possibilities, and it was always fun to dream of what life would be like as an adult. I realized today that now I am, and now I know. I live in Nashville, I am a teacher, and I am married to Ian. This is my reality.

This summer I graduated, got married, and began substitute teaching. Teaching renews me and makes me happy, and it is wonderful knowing that I have found my calling. My husband and I have a wonderful, deep marriage where we are continually growing closer together. We keep each other sane and make each other happy. We have little routines like napping together for a few minutes on the couch if Ian leaves for work before me, and giving each other one last kiss right after we turn out the lights at night. I always dreamed about being married, but it is honestly better than I expected. I've been slowly realizing that teaching and Ian make up my life now, but all of it hit me today when I realized that I really, truly live in Nashville.

I live in Nashville. I have an apartment here, a family here, and a job here. Mild climates and beautiful rolling hills are now my normal. While I was at Belmont I knew that I lived in Nashville, but it was still very temporary-feeling. I knew that Belmont would end in 4 years, and who knew where I would go after that. Nothing was for sure. Now I can look ahead 20 years and see myself in Nashville with a family and a house and a teaching job. What used to be so temporary now feels so permanent. Visiting my grandparents in Pennsylvania for a cold, white Christmas was my normal, but my future grandchildren may have a normal of visiting their grandparents in Tennessee for a slightly chilly Christmas with maybe a dusting of snow every few years. When I come home, I will be coming home to Nashville.

I know that God has plans for my life that I don't know of yet. There are verses in the Bible that remind me that as much as we may plan, God is the only one with the final word:

"Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”" James 4:13-15

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring." Proverbs 27:1

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." Isaiah 55:8

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

At the same time, God wants us to have wise plans for our future:

"The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty." Proverbs 21: 5

Ian and I are carefully planning our future. We have many different budgets, and Ian gets an email when houses come available that are in the price range we hope to be at in a few years. We hope and pray that God blesses our carefully laid plans, but we know also to remember that ultimately it is God's purpose that prevails.

For right now, I am content with my adult life in Nashville. Nashville, my home.